Men After Divorce - Advice For Men Struggling to Cope
While we have reams and reams of statistics about divorce and especially about women and divorce there is a sad lack of knowledge or even acknowledgment of what happens to men after divorce. While no one seems to want to deal with the emotions of men, especially other men it seems there is a growing problem with men not dealing with post divorce life because of a lack of support, understanding and care by the community.
Why this is the case is a complex bundle of ingrained social beliefs about the stoicism of men along with some bias by the media against men because of the behavior of the few and the fact that men themselves are disinclined to seek help or if they do, go about it the wrong way making matters worse.
One of the most important pieces of advice to men after divorce is that they stop trying to analyze and fix a problem! Men are used to fixing things, if not with their hands with their minds, we are born problem solvers and success often comes from fixing things that are broken or not working properly be it a leaky tap, a failing business, a child's tears or their own relationships. The problem is sometimes things cannot be fixed by applying an immediate solution and when a divorce has happened and the realization hits there is no precise solution to mending a broken heart especially if the man is less inclined to introspection.
When going about trying to pick their life back up men after divorce fall into a few basic categories that seem to come from our instincts: Fight or flight. Men after divorce can flee from their troubles leading to denial of their problems which well up inside them to which can also include very dangerous flight mechanisms like excessive drinking, sleeping around, drugs and other things that can lead to depression, anxiety and even worse ... suicide.
The other option is to fight. To take on their troubles and hit them with a large metaphorical stick and hope to beat them but the problem with that is the real target is often their own emotions leading to men either taking it out on themselves with self loathing and pity and possibly self harm. Men after divorce can also misread the whole situation and target someone else for this fury often being their ex-wife, children, work, parents and a whole host of other targets for excess rage.
So what is the optimum way of dealing with a divorce for men?
Is there a way to become stable and happy again in the face of such turmoil?
Click below to find out how you can recover from your divorce.
http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/post-divorce-e-book-reviews
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